I finally got the dreaded triathlon monkey off my back, I broke the curse, I faced my tri demons, you name it any way you want, I finally crossed the finish line of a triathlon! It was my 4th attempt! This is why you don't give up when you fail something and why you shouldn't let one failure (or several) define what you can or cannot do. Here's a story.
I first registered for a triathlon in June 2012. It was a sprint tri. Not a very hard distance, or so I thought. I was wrong. It was rainy and cold and when I stood on the shore, I thought, "I'm screwed, no way I can cover this distance". I had trained well enough but the swim really had me on edge and I felt under trained in that aspect. The tri started, I jumped in the water and after 5 hours, I finally gave up and walked out. Ok, you caught me, it was 5 minutes. Isn't that just crazy? I had literally been swimming for about 5 minutes when I thought "I can't do this. I'm a loser. I suck. Why did I register for this? What was I thinking? I'm a mom and my children are going to lose their mother in the ocean. Is that a shark? There's a shark near me, I'm sure of it. I should walk out before the shark bites me. Damn sharks. Oh, it isn't a shark, it's seaweed, now I can't walk out. I can still drown. I should walk out. Screw this, I'm walking". I became my own worst enemy filling my head with negative thoughts and I walked out. I felt miserable and depressed. I failed. About two months later I signed up for my first half marathon and focused on that. We all know how that story goes and if you don't, I've done over 10 half marathons, 2 fulls, Ragnar races, 5K's, 10K's and had a blast!
Then there was the Mommyathlon "TRI LIKE A MOTHER" decal that just sat in a box waiting for me. I finally got the courage to register for another triathlon. Well, 2. Everyone knows I tend to go all out for things. So being a little crazy, I decided to go for an international distance triathlon that was to take place in May 2014 and then a half iron triathlon in November 2014. Well, as luck would have it, we went on a family vacation to Washington DC in April and I came back with a horrible case of bronchitis. I deferred the triathlon to 2015 and continued my running, exercise and then began half iron triathlon training. I have never trained so hard for a race. I spent 12 weeks eating, breathing and drinking triathlon training. I biked hundreds of miles, swam hundreds of meters and ran like running was going out of style. I was in tip top shape. I was soooooooooooo ready. This was it, I was going to finally do it and I was going to do it big with a half iron triathlon... Or not.
Three days before my triathlon, my son woke up covered in vomit. Most mommies will guess right away, the dreaded stomach flu. I woke up race morning sick and nauseous and feeling miserable. Even then, I went to the race and tried my best. I somehow managed to complete the 1.2 mile swim but I was completely out of gas and sick and couldn't eat. Click here for a batter recap: http://mommyathlon.blogspot.com/2014/11/i-walked-out-i-quit-and-thats-just-fine.html
Needless to say, I quit and walked out. I cried the whole way to the car and even after, I fell into a workout depression during which time I didn't work out for weeks. I thought I was going to be fine with it but accepting that 12 weeks of training had ended on a very disappointing note was hard on me. In time, I got over it. I got back to exercise routine and decided to just lay low, train and be happy. It's my status quo but then I won the magical entry into Big Sur - that race changed me. It was such a challenge and it made me stronger. Click here for a recap: http://mommyathlon.blogspot.com/2015/05/big-sur-recap-and-then-some.html
So, about 2 weeks before race day, I get a reminder for the international distance triathlon. I had not been swimming or on my bike since last November. I told my husband I was going to try to finally cross that finish line. I was undertrained and unprepared. I had no business out there but my Big Sur training had me in pretty damn good shape and quite honestly, there's something about finishing a race like Big Sur that leaves you with this certainty that you can conquer a lot of things. I didn't tell my friends or family. My husband wanted to be there for me and so we made a deal. If I was able to finish the swim, I would text him "out". That was it. One simple word would give him the heads up that I might finally be able to do this. If I was able to finish the bike section, I would text "off" and then he would know this was really going to happen.
I drove to the race that morning with my nerves keeping me company. I focused on positive thoughts and tried to visualize myself getting out of the water. I went into the water and started the swim. Most ladies were out 15 minutes before I was but you know what? I was there to finish. I was not trying to PR or to beat anyone. I was trying to finish something that has eluded me for years. I kept swimming and just kept focused on each marker I had to reach next. After a very long swim, I got out of the water. I finished it. I remember thinking, this is really going to happen today but I didn't want to tempt the tri fate and so I texted "out" as soon as I got out of the water. I remember thinking that I desperately need a swim coach, hahaha. I got on my bike which is usually my strongest sport but I was slow and it was brutally hot. The swim had also taken a lot out of me. I just kept pedalling and before I knew it, I was putting on my running shoes and texted my husband "off". He knew this meant I was off my bike and about an hour away from finishing my first triathlon. He packed the kiddos into the car and headed to meet me at the finish line. It was a 6.6 mile run. It was brutally hot at this point because I was so slow swimming and on the bike and I was really tired but i kept putting one foot in front of the other. I was much slower than normal but a few walk breaks later, I was 1 mile out and thinking, I am finally putting that decal on my car and I am finishing a triathlon. I rounded the last corner to my husband screaming "BABY!!!! GO GO GO" and I ran the last .10 with my daughter and son at my side screaming "GO MAMI, I LOVE YOU" and I thought, I'm going to put that decal on my car and I'm going to cross the finish line, right now....... And that's just what I did!
Moral of the story Mommyathlons??? DON'T EVER GIVE UP! One failed attempt, or a few, is alright. It just makes us stronger and it means you were not afraid to "tri".
